Traversing the Orient met with Steve Foot, Bangkok-based editor and publisher of Thailand’s only English-language literary magazine, the Lizard, and asked him what it was all about.

TTO: So what kind of magazine is Lizard?

Foot: You should know, you write for it. [awkward silence] Ok, it’s a satirical literary magazine. Which means it’s supposed to bamboozle people.

TTO: You have a low opinion of your readership?

Foot: No, I have a low opinion of the people who aren’t the readership. As Karl Kraus says, most people are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions.

TTO: Is Karl Kraus a contributor?

Foot: That’s exactly the kind of stupidity Lizard is fighting against. Karl Kraus was an Austrian aphorist of the pre-Nazi era.

TTO: Why Lizard?

Foot: I know someone who got so drunk he woke up the next morning on the beach and a huge monitor had him by the arm and was trying to drag him into the bushes. But actually Lizard is because in Thai it’s called Hiia, which is pretty much the worst thing you can call someone in Thai, especially if you say ai-hiia. Try it in a bar some time and you’ll see.

TTO: You mean it’s like calling it F**k magazine? You think that’s clever?

Foot: It is clever if people don’t realize. Or only realize after it’s too late.

TTO: Too late?

Foot: We have a no refunds policy.

TTO: So what kind of content do you run?

Foot: Anything as long as it’s good. We have short stories, poetry, critical essays, translations, aphorisms and lots of art work. The focus is on Asia: in Taiwan they have a mag but it’s put out by MFA graduates writing stories about America, the kind of crap their mums would be proud of. Lizard is supposed to make them cry.

TTO: Some of your stuff appears to be about pedophiles, is that what you mean?

Foot: That’s below the belt. [awkward silence] But that case was thrown out of court.

TTO: But Lizard has caused a scandal, hasn’t it?

Foot: A storm in a teacup. Our most famous contributor, Ron Tavel, this old guy that wrote the scripts on all the early Warhol movies, Chelsea Girls and stuff like that, he wrote a piece about the local denizens of Soi Sri Bum Phen. The Table of Terminal Boredom, about the ex-pat lowlife. It was grossly offensive, and the ex-pats wanted to lynch him.

TTO: But you printed it.

Foot: I had to.

TTO: Publish and be damned, right?

Foot: It was absolutely hilarious, and Ron’s far and away our most famous contributor. He recently had a big obituary in the New York Times.

TTO: He’s dead?

Foot: The New York Post claimed he died because he was involved in Satanic rituals. I knew Ron really well – maybe they heard about our all-night drinking sessions.

TTO: And that kind of thing went on?

Foot: We used to watch Maria Montez movies from the 1940s. Pretty racy stuff.

TTO: So do you worry about getting banned?

Foot: We worry about not getting banned. Getting banned means you have mass appeal, and that means sales. Getting banned is every publisher’s dream.

TTO: Any other famous contributors?

Foot: Not NYT obituary material. We have Brian Lucas, a Californian artist and long-time Bangkokian, and Friedrich Haller, a German philosopher and Egyptologist. Most of the big name stuff is translations. We’ve published pieces translated from Thai, Chinese and Japanese, and all manner of European languages. But some of our other contributors will be famous one day, you can be sure of that.

TTO: You mean they’ll get arrested, too?

Foot: That’s not what I meant.

TTO: Are there some subjects you avoid?

Foot: This is Thailand, everyone’s avoiding the same subject. Generally we steer clear of anything Thai, though last issue we did have “Dogshit Sayings”, a Thai proverb quiz. Don’t shit on your own doorstep, as they say.

TTO: Any areas you’d like to strengthen?

Foot: We’d like to get more local talent. We’ve even had a couple of Burmese writers, but it would be great to get more young Thai and Filipino writers on board – especially as a lot of Filipinos write in English. And some stuff by ladyboys.

TTO: Ladyboys?

Foot: I enjoy doing the interviews. You know what they say about ladyboys giving the best…

TTO: Interviews? Hey, this is a family magazine we’re doing this for. So what does the future hold?

Foot: Speak to my lawyer.

Interview conducted by Steve Hands, for Traversing The Orient.